Things I need to remember daily...

I found this in my wallet today- or rather Dash did- and it was a good reminder of some things I wrote down after reading The Journey of Desire by John Eldredge. I wrote it on August 12, 2007.

- Hope exists- it's no myth- it's REAL
- The night ends- Day comes
- One day life will be more than just surviving
- I can't do it all on my own
- Surrender is possible- I can let go of my need to control
- To be like the butterflies
- Perfection is not an option, therefore, I should not search and attempt to attain it in any situation
- God's hand will me through- He is the ultimate guide and provider- He knows the trails inside and out, and I should stop thinking I know it all and trust in his direction
- Curve balls often bring the best kind of life
- Above all, things will be okay
- I can trust my heart, for in it God dwells, and my heart is often the means by which he speaks to me
- Feelings are real- they may not last forever, but I need to remember to search the feelings I have- they may unlock something I need to realize in a particular moment
- God will give me someone I can do life with
- Laughter is the best kind of medicine
- Breathing is always a good idea
- Enjoyment is a attainable- find pleasure in little things- coffee, a song, a friend, story, etc.
-Life should only be taken as seriously as is necessary- NO MORE NO LESS

It's interesting how some of the things we write never really go "out of style." They're just as real, if not more now, than when we first wrote them.

Long Day...

I think today was the first day "off" I've had in almost 2 weeks. It was nice. I actually got to sleep for 12 hours last night. It was glorious to catch up on some sleep. I went for a walk around Lake Padden with the "boys" and Aleja, and yes, Rainer and Kaelen decided to jump in the lake after Dash bet them a dollar; although, I'm pretty sure they would've done it regardless since they each had their suits on. I'm finally at a good point on my Psych paper due next week.

The gross part of living in Washington has finally arrived...the constant rain and just disgustingness. The kind of weather that does nothing for your hair. It gets dark too early. And yet somehow I find myself still loving this place. Does that make me weird?

I'd like to say something profound and lovely, but I find that I am at a loss. I think I need to write when I'm actually firing on all cylinders. But that rarely seems to happen these days.

I have more pictures I'll post soon.

Can I just say...

that I will be SO glad when this election is over? It's been going on for what feels like forever! I'm tired of the commercials and the bashing. When did it become okay to bash and bash the way politicians do?

Oh the Pacific Northwest. God bless us all. I think we just may need it.

Blogging...

I've been reading the blogs of some of my cousins and other friends for some time now. I think my cousin Sarah has the best idea for blogging. She uses it as a tool for herself and others-- journaling for herself and keeping friends and family up-to-date on her life. I haven't been doing a very good job of journaling lately. It's frustrating. I'd like to, but things have been so crazy lately that sitting down and writing out some thoughts just makes me exponentially more tired. I'd like to remember this period in my life. I mean really remember it. I'm at such an exciting, scary, you fill in the blank juncture in my life that not writing about it seems wrong.

I am beginning my 3rd month of living in Washington. I'm 9 months away from reaching my goal: residency. My boyfriend's dad thinks the hoops I have to jump through are insane, and he tells me this frequently when I see him. "Are you a resident yet," he'll ask me. And each time I look at him with what I hope is an exasperated look and say, "Not yet. Next September." But the more I think about things--even as I write them-- the more I realize that my goal isn't just residency. I want to create a life here. Can you really place a timeline on creating a life? For so many years now, I haven't been able to choose the path that I want to take. I get to choose that now. It's scary and awful and wonderful all at the same time. There are so many ways that I could go. I think back to Junior year in High School and Robert Frost's poem "The Road Not Taken."

A while ago, I wrote reasons for breaking out on my own...they are now posted on the back of my door. I look at them often and hope that they will bring me strength. And they do. Sometimes it takes time, though. But I'm finding that every time I have a difficult time taking the next steps in my world, there's someone there to catch me or to help me find it within myself to take that next step. I may not have everything right now, but what I do have, I have much of--love, friends, family, strength, support, laughter, fight. Maybe the intangible things really are that much more important in this life.

I think it's apt to end this blog with two pictures and Frost's poem.

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The first is of Dash and I. The second is of my parents and I- taken about 6 months ago.