Silence

I'm coming to really treasure silence. Right now I'm sitting in my empty apartment listening to the hum of my computer, the clicking of the keys, and the cars passing by on the street. I've opted not to listen to music or turn the tv on for the moment.

I've had a week of loud noises, screaming children, and too much stimulation. I love what I get to do, but sometimes it's simply TOO much. I worry for the health of my kids at work. Do they know what true silence is? Have they come to fear it, like we often all do? Sometimes I'm not sure how much I'm doing for my preschoolers. With my older kids, I'm sure of what I'm doing with them. But with the preschoolers it's harder. I feel like their parents don't play an active role in their lives. I know they do to a point, but on another hand they don't. These children lack boundaries and discipline. I feel like their development is stunted by being confined to an inadequate space. I know not all parents are hands-off with their kids, but I struggle with the culture these kids are being brought up in. I open for the preschool in the mornings and will often try to engage in conversations with parents--my older kids parents love just chatting when they come to pick up their kids, but perhaps the difference is that it's at the end of the day. There is one mom that drives me crazy. I feel like she only wants to talk about her son. When I compliment her outfit or ask her how she is, she rarely looks at me and will just answer the question, but turn the topic right back to her son.

I'm taking a mini-vacation this week and going to visit the folks in Reno. I'm looking forward to taking some time off. It'll be so nice to be "home" for a little while. I need the time away. My world is consumed by thoughts. Dash told me this week that we need to find a way to idle my brain some. It wears me out.

There's much to do today, but I'd rather just sit and do nothing. I know, though, that if I can get a good portion of things done now, it'll make the week ahead just a little less stressful and daunting. Oh well, off I go.